Quiet Ember

The ember never fades

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  • The weight of waiting

    There is something to be said about stress.

    The kind that makes your heart pound with every breath. The kind that comes in relentless waves, intrusive thoughts arriving every thirty seconds, each one needing to be pushed away, replaced with a whispered reminder: breathe. And yet, the cycle repeats. Again and again.

    As I apply for jobs, I ride this pendulum between hope and disappointment. The rush of possibility, followed by silence. The waiting stretches on, and I convince myself to follow up, even when I know nobody is responding.

    And then the spiral widens: finances, the future, the endless unknowns. I catch myself getting pulled under until I look at my kids. Until I hold them close. In their presence, my breath slows, my body softens. For a moment, I remember what matters most.

    I often think about purpose, what it is, where to find it, whether I’ve already been living it without realizing. Was what I thought I was good at just a decoy to uncover something else? If so, what? I wish the universe would just tell me.

    All my life I’ve been told I’m less than. Put down. Torn down. And even now, I can’t seem to make that lingering message of worthlessness evaporate completely. Especially in moments like this, when my layoff felt unnecessary, unfair, unjust. It wasn’t just business. It was an act of corporate bullying. And in some twisted way, it fell right in line with the story life has tried to write for me, that I’m not enough.

    But then I pause. Because how can I say I’m worthless when I’m healthy, when my family is healthy, when love exists right here in front of me?

    I’m trying to lean into all of this, the fear, the uncertainty, the ache. I want to believe that allowing myself to sit in it will eventually bring release. That maybe, just maybe, the dam will break, and something better will flow through.

    But the hardest part isn’t the waiting. It’s holding onto hope when hope feels like the heaviest weight of all.

    #QuietEmber | #AshesToEmber | #SacredBeginnings | #SmallSparkBigFire | #FindingLight | #DailyStruggle | #Findinghope | #Releasethedam | #SelfDiscovery | #MentalWellness |

  • Ashes to Ember

    There’s something about beginnings that feels both terrifying and sacred. For me, this blog isn’t about polished wisdom or a clean storyline. It’s about the ember, the one small spark that remains, even when everything else seems like ash.

    This year has stripped me bare. A job loss, uncertainty, endless applications, rejection emails, silence. For five months, I’ve wrestled with the question: “Who am I without my title?”

    I struggle daily. Some mornings, it feels impossible to find the strength to carry myself, let alone hold up my family. The weight of uncertainty settles heavy in my body, I get so sick with worry I can’t even eat. It feels like every ounce of energy I put out into the world, the universe swallows whole, leaving me emptied.

    And yet… I’m trying not to push those feelings away. I’m leaning into them. Sitting with them. Hoping that somewhere inside this ache, something wonderful will be born.

    But as I sift through the ashes, I keep finding one ember: a quiet knowing that I am still here. That who I am is more than what I do. That beneath the grief, exhaustion, and doubt, there is something steady waiting to be fanned back into flame.

    This space, Quiet Ember, is where I’ll share that journey. It won’t always be neat or tidy, it might come out raw, jagged, or uncertain. But that’s the truth of the ember: fragile, but also eternal.

    Because even when the fire dies down, one small spark is all it takes to begin again. I am hoping to find mine again.

    #QuietEmber | #AshesToEmber | #SacredBeginnings | #SmallSparkBigFire | #FindingLight

  • Where the Flame Begins

    Every fire starts quietly.
    Not with a roar but with a glow.
    A flicker. A breath. A decision not to fade

    Stay close.
    Something is just beginning.

    My journey to keeping the ember glowing.

    #QuietEmber | #AshesToEmber | #SacredBeginnings | #SmallSparkBigFire | #FindingLight | #SelfDiscovery | #MentalWellness |